50BDAY RAP was written for a client in Atlanta who wanted a special rap song to sing and perform for her 50th Birthday. She wasn’t sure how to put it together or even where to begin. But she knew an old school rap was what she wanted to do for her birthday. So I collected some of her stories, names, etc. of who & what she wanted to rap about, and proceeded to put a poetic-rap together in a 3 part medley form; beginning with “Ice Ice Baby” by Vanilla Ice, into “Funky Cold Medina” by Tone Loc, and finally, closing with “Can’t Touch This” by MC Hammer. Apparently, it was one helluva party! She was (as expected) all the rave and Queen of the Night that evening! As she’s since become a party/event specialist, I continue to write an occasional tribute song, poem, speech, etc. for her events.

Music for “ICE ICE BABY” (by Vanilla Ice)

1st Vs:
Hello Y’ALL and welcome to my party
I got the mic so let’s get started
Yeah I said it you heard me right
We’re gonna blow shit up tonight

It’s a party Y’ALL so don’t be shy
Tonight you need no reason why
To get loud! Get crazy! Have no fear
I’m 50 bitches and I’M STILL HERE!!!

Music segues to:

“FUNKY COLD MEDINA” by Tone Loc:

1ST VS:
I walked into to this room
Saw my homeys all around
Looking for a party
So a PARTY’S what I found

You may think I’m crazy
or that I’ve lost my mind
but you try turning 50
and then tell me what you find!

I thought I had it all
Back in 1983
So hot and wild but now this child’s
a HALF A CENTURY!!!

So ladies listen up
to the message in my rhyme
I once was good…but now I’m better
Suck it Father Time!

2ND VS:
So this one’s for my friends
Who know my secrets well
And here’s to all the boys I kissed
who promised not to tell

And this one’s for my husband
Joe Baby I gotta say
If you think I was good before
Today’s your lucky day

So maybe I am older
With more wrinkles left to lose
But now this crazy bitch
has got some stories she can use

So c’mon all my crazy friends
Let’s raise a glass to me
The good times just began to roll!
I’m a HALF A CENTURY!!!

Music Seque:

“CAN’T TOUCH THIS” by MC Hammer

1st VS:
OK ya’ll I’m 50 now
but there’s no way you can bring me down
I’m 50 this is how I roll
Time to lose all self-control

I’m “Hot!” in Lanta
And anyone can see
I’ll bet you Elton John
Even wishes he was me

2nd VS:
So let’s party up and throw it down
Light one up and smoke this town
Wave your hands up in the air
And shake that ass like you don’t care

Cuz if another fifty
there’s a chance for me to get?
Slam the door on years before
You ain’t seen nothing yet!!